 |
| Frances Rodriguez, Tom Schoenewald, Louie Rodriguez, ERod |
Courtesy of philly.com and beat writer Mike Kern
COULDA, WOULDA, shoulda.
Wasted potential.
Grim, all-too-familiar urban stories.
Evan Rodriguez, who always seems to be flashing that contagious smile of his, says there was way too much of that where he grew up in North Bergen, N.J. Youngsters in pretty much the same situation as he found himself in, who for any variety of reasons never found their way through it. Rodriguez knows that easily might have been him, just another statistic getting lost in the unrelenting cycle.
"I saw that all around me," he said. "All the time."
Fortunately he was given a helping hand, from a mother and grandmother who understood what can happen when there's no paternal figure there for a boy to lean on.
"They wanted a role model in my life," Rodriguez explained. "I'm so thankful to them for putting me in the Big Brother program. Without Tom, I don't know where I'd be right now.
"But chances are it might not be good."
Tom would be Tom Schoenewald, a guy with Philadelphia and South Jersey shore roots who at that time was looking for something himself. He didn't have any children of his own, but a friend was involved with Big Brothers. So Schoenewald thought it might be right for him too. He was 32, working in promotions for the NBA at the time. Evan was 8. Schoenewald is Caucasian. Rodriguez isn't. They've stayed connected ever since, through better times and not, even though that North Jersey branch of the organization closed 2 years later due to budgetary issues.
"He's family," Evan insisted.
To the point that Schoenewald is now trying to exert that same influence upon Rodriguez's younger brother, 13-year-old Louie, who unlike Evan isn't into sports but rather music.
"It's just about trying to to be there for them," said Schoenewald, who's now a professional tour director, a job that takes him all over the country. "I wanted to help them break the circle."
Evan is a senior tight end at Temple who leads the team with nine receptions heading into Saturday afternoon's game against Penn State at Lincoln Financial Field. He figures to be an NFL draft pick next spring, maybe even a fairly high one.
"I'm so excited to see him close to his dream," Schoenewald said.
Yet it extends well beyond that.
"An average [pro] career lasts close to 4 years," Schoenewald said. "So you have to have more going for you. You have to make something of yourself. It took some time, but Evan really gets that."
In many ways because of their relationship.
"His background is kind of like mine," Rodriguez noted. "His father left their family. He told me, 'You've got to earn it. Nobody's going to give you anything. And don't settle.' He knew . . . Things could have been so much different.
"A mom and grandmom can only do so much. They love you to death, but it's hard, especially for a female. They can't teach you how to be a man."
At first, though, neither really knew exactly what the pairing might lead to.
"I'm calling him my Big Brother, and people are looking at me like, 'He's white, and you're Hispanic and black,' " Rodriguez recalled. "At the time, it was an awful moment. I got used to it. He was just trying to teach me the right way of things. And me, it was hard taking orders from a male guy in general. You hit bumps in the road sometimes.
"I'd get pissed off at something, and he'll try to discipline me. And when I calm down I realize he was only trying to do what was right for me. There's a correct way, and an incorrect way. There are a lot of guys where I come from that you could go, 'What if?' He gave me an opportunity to open my eyes and realize you have to get out of the box and see what's out there. At a young age, he made me see that I've got to be better for my family, just get out of this area so I can be a success in life."
It's a message he's obviously run with. But the happy ending didn't simply happen. It evolved. And there was an aunt [Evelyn Rodriguez] and uncle [Mark Murray] who were also very much involved in supporting the process. Even so, Evan still had his share of issues well into his last years of high school, not the least of which was getting stabbed in the neck as a junior. But that seems like such a long time ago.
"Even just before his grandmother [Julia] passed in 2006, she told me he wouldn't make it," said Evan's mother, Frances. "It wasn't really him. He got in with the wrong kids. So I did wonder how it was going to turn out. It's scary. Through all those struggles, Tom was a good friend, always behind him.
"When I saw him graduate [from high school], my heart just broke."
So what's it going to be like when Evan, a communications major, gets his college diploma?
"Oh, forget it," she exclaimed.
She won't be alone.
"He's matured so much," said Schoenewald, who helped Rodriguez when he was making his recruiting visits and is planning to relocate to Philadelphia to assist in the draft process. "Early on, I just tried to keep everything positive, let him know I was going to stick with him. One of our first days we were walking down the street and he kicked a can that was just laying there. I stopped. He turned around and went, 'What are you doing?' I told him, 'Why don't we think about picking up that can and throwing it out?' I was just trying to show him he needed to do more.
"There was a lot of trust in all this. It wasn't just me. He's had a lot of great people on his side. Now he understands responsibility, and making the right decisions. God's given him a lot to work with. I think he's learned what a respectable person does in the community on a daily basis. It's about giving something back, being there for others too."
His teammates, his family, his friends, his neighbors. Maybe just the person passing him on the street.
It sure beats the alternatives.
"He comes over my house, and I go to his," Rodriguez said. "We'll have dinner, go out. He pushed me to stay positive, see the opportunities that were out there. I don't know if I would have done that on my own. A lot of times, it's not the big things but the little stuff we'd share. He was always kind of giving me clues how to handle myself."
They still see each other on a regular basis. Tom comes to as many Temple games as his schedule allows. But they communicate more these days by phone, text and Facebook. Sign of the times. The only thing that hasn't changed is their mutual commitment.
"One of the first things he said to me was, 'I'm going to be with you,' " Even explained. "After a while, he let me know that if I didn't learn how to do things the correct way, then he was going to have to let me go. He sort of set the ground rules, put it on me. When you're young, you think you can do it by yourself. We'd bump heads, but from there I had to figure out that he was only looking out for my best interests."
Dream on.
